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Using The No Contact Rule With Your Ex Boyfriend  Uploading ....Dear Kurt:
I broke up with my boyfriend and now I want him back but I'm not sure what to do next. Is there any advice you can give me to help me get him back without looking needy and desperate.
-Sincerely Missing Him
Dear Missing Him:
Before I get into the things that you should do to help get his attention, I want to tell you that I feel your pain. Going through a breakup is never fun, but if you apply what you read here today it will help get you pointed in the right direction.
If you're serious about getting your ex boyfriend back the first thing you need to do is to get him to miss you and start thinking about you again.
You need to get him to a point where when he reflects on your relationship he focuses on the good times that you had together and the best way to get him thinking about you is with your words and actions - or lack thereof in this case.
It's Not Over Yet
Of all the things you need to keep in mind, this one is probably the most important. Even though you've broken up and you're no longer together, your relationship is not over. It's natural to think that they are going to move on and forget about us but the truth couldn't be anymore different - allow me to explain.
Imagine that you were the one who broke it off with your ex boyfriend? Do you think you would move on right away? Of course not! You need to factor in the point that you two had a history together and that the pain of the breakup is going to last for a while before either of you does anything else with anyone.
Using The No Contact Rule With Your Ex Boyfriend
Now that you know why your ex boyfriend isn't going to run off with someone else right after the breakup, the next thing you need to do is to get him to think about you by not contacting him. The theory behind this is simple: We want what we can't have or don't currently have and so if your ex boyfriend doesn't have any contact with you it stands to reason that at some point he will want to.
However you have to be strong and commit to not contacting him under any circumstances. This means:
•No Text Messaging
•No Facebook
•No Twitter
•No Phone Calls
•No Messaging Through Friends
I think you get the picture. You need to cut all communication with him or else he'll never start to miss you.
Does It Work?
Heck yeah it works, but you've got to follow through with the no contact part for it to be effective. If you slip up and send him a small text or leave him a message then he's not going to miss you because you're chasing him. Instead, you want your ex boyfriend to look and see what you're up to and how you're dealing with the breakup. If you've done the no contact phase of your breakup correctly, I guarantee that your ex boyfriend will start looking for you.
He will do it under the guise of "calling to see how you're doing", or probably he will make up some lame excuse to stop by your house and pick up something that belongs to him. He is going to be curious, and when he calls you will need to know what to say. Dealing with your ex boyfriend's phone call correctly is an important part to winning him back.
The End Result
Your ex boyfriend is going to be blown away! He's going to worry that you are totally over him and the relationship. He has absolutely no idea what is going on because it's the exact opposite of what he expected. He expected that you'd come running after him and that you'd beg him to leave the door to the relationship open a crack in case he wanted to reconcile?
Well guess what. You just slammed it shut in his face. You have put him out of his comfort zone, and made your ex boyfriend face the fact that he can't play games with you at this moment. It is either he chooses to take you back (and hopes you will accept) or he risks losing you forever.
If you want to get your ex boyfriend back, the first thing you need to do is to get his attention again. Cutting off all contact will not only get his attention, but it gets him thinking about you again as well and that's exactly what you want.
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